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Oct

Positive Thinking and Your Money

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Positive Thinking and Your Money

It might come as some surprise to you that you need to focus on positive thinking to get through periods of financial difficulty and to help you to turn around your financial situation where you have sufficient funds to cover your day to day expenditure without being constantly stressed.

It is only natural that somebody who has had financial turmoil for some time, to begin thinking negatively and wonder whether they will ever get out of the difficult situation that they are in.

If you are currently faced with huge debt that you feel so overwhelming you can’t see the forest for the woods then it is going to take you some time to start feeling better about yourself and thinking positively towards the future.

It is however something that you need to focus on because the power of positive thinking will help you to get back on your feet a lot sooner. It will help you to make better decisions and give you the energy to focus on bringing in more income and coping with the stress that you are currently under.

Positive thinking will also be picked up by other people such as your creditors who will see that even you believe you are going to make good on their debts and give them the confidence to possibly allow you a bit more time to pay back the money that is owing to them.

If you approach them with a negative attitude then they can become very uneasy as to whether they will get their money back or not and often this is all that is needed for creditors to send the debt collectors in.

Positive thinking is a goal that needs to be added to the other goals that will see you eliminating debt and leading a more positive and productive life where you will have more control over all aspects of your life including the running of your household and your finances.

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Credit Card Debt Negotiation For Easier Debt Relief

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Credit Card debt Negotiation For Easier debt Relief

What is debt Negotiation?

Several people suffer from overlapping credit card debts that make it difficult for them to manage payments. This is mostly due to the nonchalant nature of spending using your credit card, hence many have started to question about using credit cards as a valid alternative for real cash to make purchases.

When you begin to suffer the same problem with rising credit card debts, debt negotiation is a proven and legal method to figure out a way out of that debt trap. debt negotiation involves, of course, negotiation to pay off the balance of your debts that is in reality less than your actual balance. For example, you owe your credit card company a given amount for non-payment and you work your way into reducing that amount so you can save on your payments. It is important to clearly discuss terms with your credit card company because they share the same interest with you, which is to settle any remaining balance on your account.

If you have any qualms about debt negotiation process, then you need to know that it is a completely legal process. There are several debt negotiation professionals that you can hire and they are the ones responsible for speaking with credit card companies to do the negotiation for you so you can reach a reduced payoff.

Benefits of debt Negotiation

If you are having trouble trying to organize all of the credit card debts you need to settle, debt negotiation services is a valid method that can help resolve your debt problems. Some people have difficulty dealing with the staggering amount of phone calls or letters being sent to them by their credit card companies insisting that they settle all of their existing debts. There are a few benefits that you can get from settling with debt negotiation services and they are listed below.

Having Professional Assistance

One obvious benefit that you can derive with debt negotiation on your credit card debts is that you can hire the services of professional debt negotiators. Their expertise on this field would help you gain an advantage in securing the lowest possible payoff. This is helpful for anyone who lacks proper negotiation skills and lack the knowledge when it comes to the twists and turns of the credit industry.

Save Yourself From Stress

For people with huge amounts of credit card debt to settle, you might find that staffs of credit card companies can be really hard on you. As if settling your existing debts do not offer enough stress alone, having staffs to harass and demand from you can be doubly trying. Hiring a debt negotiation service to do the negotiating for you can reduce the amount of stress involved in settling your credit card debt. You do not have to employ your own tactics just to settle with your desired payoff amount. These debt negotiation services have been doing this for a living and they utilize proven strategies that will help you arrive at your desired payoff balance.

You Save Money

In terms of your financial status, debt negotiation offers a few advantages on your part. First off, the reduced payoff balance will enable you to manage your debt settlements a lot better. It also offers some benefits to your credit card company given that they are able to receive a settlement for your debts.

However, the aim of debt negotiation is basically to help people with astounding credit card debts. With a lesser amount to settle, you are able to keep up with your balance and go back to establishing a more solid financial ground that is free of any debt.

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Debt Settlement Agreement

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Donna asks…

I had an offer to settle a debt but it sounds suspicious?

They gave me two documents. A settlement agreement offer and then a confession of judgement. They both have to be notarized and they said that when I pay the amount that is in the offer that the debt will be paid in full. They also said they want me to sign a confession of judgment so they can hold that at their office in case I do not pay. My thing is if I pay why do they still need the confession to hold on to. Is this standard stuff there doing or are they trying to play me for a fool.

admin answers:

I am so glad you questioned this…..

DO NOT SIGN ANY DOCUMENT!!!!! Especially a confession of judgment.

DO NOT ADMIT to owing them a dime! The second you do, they will immediately turn around and sue you in court, garnish your wages, and get the entire amount. I’ve seen this happen! They now have a signed document in their hands to show the judge. Very big mistake!

I’m going to bet that in this nice settlement offer, they are not offering to delete this from your credit report once it’s paid, right? Another major mistake on your part.

How much is this debt for, and how old is it? This is a slick trick that they use when the debt is beyond the Statute of Limitations, and you just guaranteed they are going to collect!

Please get some advice from someone with experience dealing with collection agents before you proceed.

Think about this! You are offering to pay them back their debt. Why are they making you go through a bunch of legal hoops to do it? They should be glad about it, and helping you out.

Making you sign and notarize a bunch of legal papers? That’s crazy talk!

Lizzie asks…

Need Some Clarification Regarding How to Handle 1099′s for Cancellation of debt Income?

In response to a question I asked previously regarding cancellation of debt related to my 2009 Debt Settlement activity, someone stated that if I don’t receive a 1099 form for 2009, I should not include the forgiven debt as taxable income for 2009 unless I have “an explicit written agreement with the creditor that they are forgiving the debt and that you don not have to repay it”.

Here’s my questions: assuming I do not receive 2009 1099′s for some of all of the debts I settled in 2009, does a written Settlement Agreement between me and the Debt Collector count as an “explicit written agreement“? If so, I’m assuming I would count it as income in 2009 even though I didn’t receive a 2009 1099. But here’s the but . . . what do I do with the 1099 if/when I eventually receive it in a future tax year, since I would have addressed it in 2009?

Tax-wise, it is in my best interests to log this settlement related income in 2009 since I had serious insolvency issues in 2009 that will allow me to not count it as income anyway, but I’m not at all clear how to handle it if eventually receive the 1099 in a later tax year since I would have addressed it in a previous tax year

admin answers:

If you receive a 1099 in a later year showing “income” for 2009 that you reported on your 2009 return, that is fine and you do not need to do anything.

If you receive a 1099 in a later year showing that the debt was not forgiven until 2010 or a later year, then it was not yet forgiven in 2009 and should not have been claimed in 2009. You must then amend your 2009 taxes using Form 1040X to remove the claim from your 2009 taxes and claim the forgiven debt in the correct year.

Linda asks…

He violated the Marital Settlement agreement and he stoped paying what can I do?

I got divorced 08/05 the Judgement of Dissolution stated that we entered an agreement “petitioner (my x) agrees to pay community debt with credit card acct # in the amount of $8,000.00 and hold the respondent (me) harmless from any liability incurred by such debt. Petionioner (my x) does so with the understanding and agreement that the card shall no longer be used untill complete balance paid off.” Balance due as of 08/05 was $8,000.00. Since that time balance has rose up to 9,731.25 in part by a cash advance transaction he made on 09/19/06 where he withdrew $2,000.00 in to his checking account & due to the high interest rate wich was 32.240%. I contacted him and ?d y he withdrew he said because he had to. Collections called me since no payment had been made since 07/06 because payment made 08/06 bounced. I have sent him 3 certified letters & called him numerus times he won’t pick up the phone I live in California he has moved to Florida. What do I do?
I did contact the cc company letting them know of the divorce askin them to change my last name to maiden and sent them a copy of the Divorce. They responded to me ” we appreciate your attention to the mater however we cannot lelive you of your contractual liability on the account above based ona Divorce agreement between you and your former spouse/ Please be advised that a Divorce agreement is between the parties of the divorce and you are still contractually liable for the debt on the cc in accordance with the agreement” I was the main accnt he was authorized, bill were mailed to Florida but it’s a PO box I plan on going to court tomorrow trouble is i can’t have him served to a po box. I just paid $49.95 for an online background check see if i can get an address but what a waist of $50. I called cc co advised them the $2000 was fraud they say he was authorized to make transactions. =( uhhh!!! I’m sooo frustrated!!!

admin answers:

I am not sure about your State’s law, but you may want to send the credit card company a copy of the Judgment. They may still try to hold you responsible.

You need to file a Motion with the court to have him brought before the Judge on contempt issues. Judges do not take it well when people blatantly disregard their Orders.

Good Luck.

Helen asks…

Does it matter on my credit score if I put 3 accounts in debt Settlement and pay the rest on time?

I am in financial difficulty. I was able to negotiate some of my credit cards to be on a 0% to 4% interest rate and will be paid off anywhere from 3 to 5 years. I have some credit cards that would not negotiate in taking the interest down and I am already 5 months behind. I was told that those accounts will be charged off in a month or two. For one of those, the charge off offer will be 1,500 on a 6,500 balance.
In about few months, I am looking at a short sale for my house. I am in a current forebearance agreement but I do not qualify on Making Home Affordable Program. So, I am looking at an increased mortgage when Forebearance agreement ended. I can barely make ends meet now. So, is it advisable to put all my accounts in Debt Settlement, since I will have a short sale, and maintaining few good accounts will not help my credit score. If I have lower payments, I will just about break-even or save couple hundred a month.

admin answers:

It sounds like you’re in serious trouble. Have you thought about filing for Chapter 7 bankruptcy on the credit cards in order to possibly save your house? By going 5 months past due on a credit card, your credit rating has already been majorly damaged. Paying on time for one set of cards while the others are defaulting will not cancel out the negative effects of the cards that are defaulting

I’m not sure what you mean by putting your accounts in debt settlement. I hope you are not referring to one of those companies that promises to cut your debt in half. These firms are big trouble and it sounds like you have enough of that already. Do you have money up front to settle the accounts for less? Even if you do, your first priority should be to save your home…if doing so is a practical and a do-able situation.
Seriously, if you qualify to file for Chapter 7 and if discharging the credit card debts through bankruptcy would free up enough money to make your mortgage payment, then you should really consider this.

Another option is a debt management plan. NFCC is a non profit organization that was set up by the credit card industry to offer assistance to people who are struggling to pay their credit card debt…and who may by considering filing for bankruptcy. They can offer reduced payments and interest (but NOT settlements for less). Http://www.nfcc.org
As a general rule, they can reduce your total monthly payment down to 2% of your total debt…so with 10K in credit card debt…your total payment would roughly be $200. They can also reduce the interest to around 10%.
- For your credit card that this 5 months past due, you’d be better off trying to settle this up front if you can.

David asks…

how should i go about settling my debt myself?

i have two creditors.Bof A and chase.all together i owe over $10,000.i sent Bof A an offer through their collection agency.i also made an agreement with chase.i told both i wanted letters stating that the debt was to be settled for a certain amount,and wanted confirmation as soon as the letters were recieved.i already tried going through 2 different debt settlement companies and it was just a bunch of bull.what other documentation should i get in case i get blackballed?

admin answers:

If your account has been turned to a collection agency, you have to negotiate with the collection agency. You may as well settle for as little as possible since your credit is already damages and the negative will remain for the balance of the 7 year reporting period.

General rule of thumb, if the debt is over 3 years old, offer 25%; 2 or 3 years old, offer 50%; less than 2, offer 75%. Lump sum gets the best deal. Payment plans must be short term. Get any settlement agreement in writing before you pay and don’t give the collector direct access to your bank account.

If your account with Chase isn’t in collections, you may not be able to get them to accept a settlement. They may simply sue you. If you used settlement companies, your credit cards may already be ready to sue.

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Creditors

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Thomas asks…

What is the fastest and easiest way to let creditors and others know about an address change?

I know you can get a change of address form at the post office, but does that inform all creditors or just forward your mail until you can call all of them?

admin answers:

Go on their websites and update your address there.

Change of address will just forward your mail to you for a year. It will not tell them anything; you will have stickers on your mail telling you to contact the sender and inform them of your new address.

Richard asks…

What’s the importance of knowing your credit score when the creditors run your credit anyway?

When I apply for loans and tell the creditors what my credit score is they still run my credit. All the reports I read talk about the imporatnce of knowing your credit score and that’s fine. But what’s the importance of knowing my score when the creditors run it anyway? Also, how do we know that the rates that we qualify for are true based on ourcredit score? Is there a chart tat we can put our credit score up against and it tells us what rates we qualify for?

admin answers:

Creditors can not simply take your word as far as your credit score, besides a whole lot more then score goes into deciding weather someone gets approved for a loan or not.

I look at credit every day and see people every month with scores over 700 that can not buy a car because their score is made up of one credit card with a $500.00 limit paid 15-times and a couple of student loans.

While this generates a great score it doe’s not show the ability or the willingness to actually pay anyone.

To have the best score and profile you will need 3 credit card accounts (revolving) with balances below 30% of your credit limiat and 2 cars, boats, homes, funriture or personal accounts (installment) all with good long pay history’s.

Creditors don’t ruin your credit score you do that.

Maria asks…

Is it better to pay original creditors rather than debt collectors?

I am waist deep in a bunch of small debts that total around $5,000 not counting $33,000 in student loans. Most of the debts have moved on to debt collection from other company’s but i have tried and been able to make payments to the original creditors. I am just wondering if paying the original creditors rather than the debt collectors would better reflect on my credit.

admin answers:

If the debt collectors are knocking on your door, it’s too late to pay the original creditors.

Chris asks…

Is it better to settle with creditors yourself or go through a consumer credit counselor near me?

I am about 30k+ in debt and all are delinquent (laid off). Is it better to deal directly with creditors or go through an agency? I have funds to pay most of it off, but I am concerned with my credit report and how new creditors may look at my credit. In the long run is it better to say settled on my credit report or credit counseling?

admin answers:

Do NOT use a counsellor as they don’t always have your best interest at heart….it’s just a job and if they make a mistake of not paying your bills (which you should be doing yourself) they just say ‘sorry’ and you’re SOL.

Just get all your debts validated by the credit bureaus NOT the creditors. Once you’re ready contact the creditors and negotiate a ‘pay for delete’ in addition to payment or a payment plan. Make sure you get this agreement in WRITING as they are notorious for having amnesia.

Whatever you do make good on your payments and you’ll slowly but surely rectify your credit. Any credit cards you have just cut them up but do NOT close the account as you want the history of the account to work for you.

Self Help debt Settlement

Our patent pending method of self help debt settlement was designed to provide consumers with all of the tools they need to negotiate with their creditors directly with a new lower price of just $49.99.

Daniel asks…

What is the best way to pay off my creditors and repair my credit?

In 2006 my father had to have surgery, so I moved in with him to help him recouperate. He’s fully recovered now, however, not being able to work for a while really caused me to get behind on all of my bills. Now it is to the point that I don’t send payments at all. I worry about this constantly. All of my credit cards and store cards have high balances and are in collections. What is the best way to go about paying off my creditors and repairing my credit?

admin answers:

Call all your creditors and be Honest with them. I know this sounds simpler said than done! See if they would be willing to work out a payment plan that works for you.

I know it will not be easy, but at least you will have given it a shot.

They will be more understanding than you think, because at least they will get some of their money back.

What ever you do don’t file bankruptcy and don’t fall for credit doctors that offer to fix your credit, both will only make it worse. Remember there are no reputable credit repair agencies.

Good Luck!

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Debt Advice Uk

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Sandra asks…

what’s the best company to help with debt in the uk?

for someone in lots of debt through bad circumstances and are really worrying, what’s the best company to help. I would love some helpful advice.

admin answers:

There are a lot of companies that will now handle debt problems. It depends on the size of the debt as well. But generally you have to be in debt to the tune of £10,000 and £15,000. Basically they all offer the same service, where they contact your creditors and arrange to stop further interest being added. They all say in their adverts something about government legislation. The Consume Credit Counselling Service (CCCS) is a non profit organisation and offer a range of services inluding a self help package if your situation is not too bad. You will find them in yell or google them in theUK.

Good luck

Mary asks…

Argos Advice uk ??????????

I brought a canon dslr camera for £399.99 3 months ago it now has developed a fault the auto focus has stopped working. Sinces its been 3 months will they replace/exchange the item or will it be sent away for repair? I am quite upset because im still in debt for taking out a loan for this camera and for it too last 3 months and then to develop a fault is not on. Iv had my sony camera for way longer then that and the auto focus works on that.
I will try and stand my ground i will tell them i did not break it because i didnt break it. £399.99 is alot of money my old camera iv had three years and it works fine so should the canon. My old camera is a sony and i was adviced against the canon i should have listened. If i do get a replacment i will see if it can be the nikon.

admin answers:

You should have received a manufacturers guarantee card with the camera. Argos did not make the camera they are simply the retailer. If you are not happy with what they offer you may be able to return it direct to Canon. Check the paperwork you received first.

Donald asks…

in debt cant pay my overdraft and credit cards?

planning on moving back to uk after 2yrs but i have overdraft and credit card debts 2 years back in uk before moving 2 ireland.need advice on what to do.

admin answers:

A DMP is the answer. (debt management plan). They can act as a buffer between you and your creditors, help you get control and avoid charges. This does not cost you anything and will save you money. They are good.

The sooner you do this the sooner you will stop getting excess charges and risking CCJ’s etc.

Linda asks…

Debt Financial Advice Please!?

I am looking for a company who will give me a debt consolidation loan of around £10.000 (UK). I am a tenant on long term disability benefit and income support, so have no home to secure a loan on, and no employment.

I have an outstanding debt, and I am currently using a debt managment plan which I pay £70 per month for, they company then pay 6 of my lenders reduced payments. I also have a couple of more debts not managed by the debt managment agency.

I am not satisfied with te copany as I often still recieve letters, saying companies have not being paid, and have no idea what debt I owe now, as I do not get any kind of statement.

I have current debts that i am paying, but that are affecting my daily living, such as provy and greenwoods, and alltogether with all the different companies I am paying out near enough £250 a month.

I have tried to look for a loan that would pay off all my debts, so i can cancel my debt managment plan, however everyone I look at wants full time work, or a homeowner, and also my defaults go against me.

Can anyone offer any advice, on where I can go. I dont really want to go to a debt managment company as I am not happy that they take so much of a cut, and it takes longer to pay off the debt.

admin answers:

Hi there,

Firstly, the debt Management Company that you are paying are CHARGING you and they are not even giving you a good service as you say you STILL receive letters. What you need to do is go to someone who will do it for FREE for you such as DebtLine… Www.NationalDebtLine.co.uk or PayPlan is another excellent one… Www.PayPlan.com

You could opt for a debt Management Plan and you pay back only what YOU can afford such as £5 to each Creditor Per Month. OR you could go for a debt Relief Order. This would totally wipe out your debt. Now if I were you I wouldn’t ask advice from the debt Company you are currently with as they will try and scare you with lot’s of un-true, tall tales of D.R.O’s such as they will come and take anything in your home of value over £300.00 which just simply ISN’T true.

Please know I DO know what I am talking about because I have recently gone Bankrupt from over £20,000 of debt. It got out of control and spiraled downwards to where I owed over £1,200.00 a month in charges and fees for Over Drafts/Store Cards/Credit Cards/Loans. Originally I was going to go for a D.R.O when my debt was just below £15,000 (The Maximum debt allowed is £15,000.00 for a D.R.O) and it went above this because 15 different Creditors were banging on charges including Halifax charging me £15.00 a day on 3 different accounts that were Over Drawn (Over the ‘Agreed’ Over Draft) but then I had to opt for bankruptcy instead.

I won’t lie, D.R.O’s are a little like bankruptcy only less severe. But it would be a good option for you. Why pay the debt back when you can have it wiped clean? DebtLine will be able to advise you or PayPlan. But DEFINITELY get rid of your current one. You DON’T have to pay a con artist company for a debt Management Program when if that is the route you want to take, LEGIT people will do it totally FREE!

As for a loan, I would STRONGLY advise against this as the only loan you are likely to get is from a rip of merchant such as Wonga.com or a loan shark. Please don’t go there. There are other ways to get rid or reduce the debt for free. You have just been given bad advice and thought there was a light at the end at the tunnel when this present debt Company contacted you (or you them). Please, please visit the 2 links I have given you. It will be the best thing you ever do. The relief I felt walking out of court with a piece of paper saying I owe NOTHING is so amazing. The weight LIFTS from your shoulders. Suddenly… You have money to yourself again. And if you do choose a debt Management Program, you will find you’ll probably pay about £50.00 Per Month (To ALL your creditors) and NOT £250.00.

Don’t worry, there is help AND hope. There *IS* a light! You WILL get there.
Feel free to send me a message or E-Mail me directly on PeggyLuXXX@Yahoo.com if you want to discuss anything or want my experience of D.R.O/Bankruptcy and I will try my best to help.

Take care hun.
Lin. XXx

Betty asks…

I’m in the US, and I really want to settle in the UK. Trouble is finding a job. Any advice or suggestions?

I’m looking into getting another degree from a university there in either nursing or teaching since those are jobs that are in need of filling.
I want to hear from people who’ve moved to the UK, are moving/settling there, or who know someone who has. What would be another method of moving to the UK, aside from studying there for 2-3 years and accumulating more debt on top of my US degree?

admin answers:

The NHS does not hire nurses who do not already have permission to work in the UK. Meaning they will not sponsor you for a work visa.
Teaching is a different story however.

Right now the job situation in the UK is kind of dire. Even UK citizens are having a hard time finding employment. Maybe it will be different in 2-3 years.

Just so you know, they are doing away with ILR (indefinite leave to remain) So hypothetically even if you did marry a British citizen today, you would not qualify for ILR before July 2011 (date they are stopping it). Becoming a British citizen is going to become much more complicated and time consuming and lengthy process. Those who do not have ILR before July 2011 will be on what is called the “Earned citizenship” route. It could take up to 8 years to become a British citizen.

You can always look on job websites and see what is out there. However without an advanced degree and years working experience in same field, it is going to be next to impossible to get any company to sponsor you for a work visa.

Donna

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Bad Credit

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Sandra asks…

How do you get an credit card with bad credit and if you are working by cash income?

I working at home because I am disable, the only way I make money is building a website to earn money and all my money go to the bank, i do not get paystub but cash because it been deposit in the bank, i want to get an credit card but I have bad credit, i will like to know how you build an credit if you cant get an credit card, i want one for orders and things of that nature! Do someone no how ,what bank offer credit without looking in to your credit?

admin answers:

Why dont you try getting a Visa Debit Card from your bank.
It’s like a Visa card but you only spend what you have in your checking account.

You need to really build your credit back up so maybe get a secure credit card and work your way up to unsecured.

Personal Loans & Visa Approved At Abacus.

Credit restoration to quickly get the credit card, car, home mortgage, and personal loan – fix and restore credit.

Ruth asks…

Does Having Bad Credit Affect Your Eligibility To Join The Military?

I have bad credit, and was interested in joining the Air Force reserves. I am curious if this is going to affect my ability to obtain a security clearance or not. I am having such a hard time getting in touch with a recruiter, and am still waiting for my calls to be returned. I am curious if this is a waste of time for me or not. I am planning on fixing my credit, but have been financially unable to do so.

admin answers:

It will definately affect your chance of a SC. That is one of the main components of getting a clearance. It basically tells them of your responsibility and trustworthiness. If you can pay your bills on time it shows those to values, and you need those same values because with a SC you will need to keep secrets. It definately isn’t impossible though, so give it a shot.

You may also have some difficulty of joining, but it shouldn’t affect you too much on this aspect.

Thomas asks…

How much bad credit does it take to affect my credit scores?

I am debating trying to pay off a BIG amount($4000) and am not sure how to go about it. I don’t have the money for min. payments and don’t have any marks on my report yet. So how bad is it to get this on my credit report?

admin answers:

One 30 day late can reduce your score by 50 to 100 points

A credit score is a number generated by a mathematical formula that is meant to predict credit worthiness. The most common of the credit score standards is the FICO score by Fair Isaac. The FICO score ranges from 350-850 and is intended as a predictor of whether or not you will be 90 days late on a loan obligation. Fair Isaac uses thousands of credit reports to calibrate the FICO scoring model and is very secretive of the exact formula.

Here is a percentage breakdown of a FICO score:

35% – Payment History
30% – debt Ratio
15% – Length of Credit History
10% – Types of Credit
10% – Number of Credit Inquiries
Most people are aware of the three credit reporting agencies TransUnion, Equifax and Experian. The average difference in score between the highest and lowest of your three FICO scores is 60 points. This is the result of each of the credit bureaus having different items on their report. Some correct, some incorrect and some that are not being reported in full compliance with credit law.

Eliminate debt Fast Without bankruptcy Or debt Consolidation

Learn How I Eliminated $83,407 Of Unsecured debt In Only 45 Days Without Filing bankruptcy Or Using Any Type Of debt consolidation Service!

Michael asks…

How can I get a credit card with rewards when I have bad credit?

Hi. My wife and I both have terrible credit, and are looking for a credit card with rewards such as cash back or sky miles. We use our visa cards that are tied into our checking accounts so much that it is a waste to not get rewards, but it is hard to get rewards with bad credit. Any advise?

admin answers:

Honestly, if you both have “terrible credit” neither of you would be able to qualify for any type of rewards card. The visa cards that are tied your checking account are called Debit cards, and they do not affect your credit score. You would need to first improve your credit score before you decide to apply for anything. Make sure that you pay all of your bills on time and at least the minimum due on any credit cards that you do have. Do this for at least 6 months to a year before you decide to apply for anything.

Helen asks…

I have bad credit and am desperate to find an apartment in Mass?

I am currently going through a divorce and one of the main reasons I am divorcing my soon to be ex is that he has ruined me financially. My house is foreclosing and I need to find an apartment between Dighton, Ma and Bridgewater, Ma. Here’s my problem. My credit since I have been married is terrible. I am very dependable and have been at the same job for almost 8 years. I can provide personal and professional references and pay a few months rent in advance if need be. What can I do? People with bad credit have to live somewhere, right? Help.. I don’t want to end up homeless. Any ideas or suggestions would be great.

admin answers:

Listen. Credit scores are VERY overrated when it comes to renting. Normally they only make a difference if you are looking at a place you probably cant afford to begin with. In my life I have never heard of anyone I know getting rejected from an apartment. And i know some people with AWFUL credit. Just look around and someone will let you in no problem.

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Card Credit Debt Eliminate

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Donald asks…

What is the difference in Chapter 13 and Chapter 7 bankruptcy?

Please give answers that are EASY to read and not the ones that I can search online w/ tons of legal jargon. I am trying to really understand this..

questions I have are:
what’s the difference?
which one can you keep your cars in?
which one would one need to eliminate credit card debt only?

admin answers:

There are two primary types of personal bankruptcy: Chapter 13 and Chapter 7. Each must be filed in federal bankruptcy court. As of 2000, the fees for seeking bankruptcy relief are $160: a filing fee of $130 and an administrative fee of $30. Attorney fees are additional.

Chapter 13 allows persons with a steady income to keep property, like a mortgaged house or a car, that they otherwise might lose. In Chapter 13, the court approves a repayment plan that allows you to use your future income to pay off a default during a three-to-five-year period, rather than surrender any property. After you have made all payments under the plan, you receive a discharge of your debts.
Known as straight bankruptcy, Chapter 7 involves liquidation of all assets that are not exempt. Exempt property may include automobiles, work-related tools and basic household furnishings. Some of your property may be sold by a court-appointed official ,a trustee or turned over to your creditors. You can receive a discharge of your debts through Chapter 7 only once every six years.

Mark asks…

Is it illegal for companies to send telemarketing text messages to my cell phone?

I thought it was illegal for companies to place telemarketing calls to cell phones (or any phone where the recipient can be charged for the incoming call)……but does this also apply to texting? Today I received a text message for an offer to eliminate credit card debt — since I am also charged for text messages, isn’t this also illegal? Is there some action I can take?

admin answers:

Yes it’s illegal, and you can do something about it. Check these websites for a whole bunch of information on the topic:

https://www.donotcall.gov/

http://www.fcc.gov/cgb/consumerfacts/canspam.html

http://www.ftc.gov/bcp/edu/pubs/consumer/alerts/alt107.shtm

http://www.ftc.gov/bcp/edu/microsites/spam/rules.htm

Sorry for not writing more, but It’s just easier if you read the stuff yourself.
The credit card debt Survival Guide

How to deal with collection firms and collection attorneys. The best legal tactics attributed to debt forums, legal cases, and many users. 240 pp. linked in Toc for easy use and reference.

James asks…

Should I use 401k to pay off credit cards?

I have about $3000 in credit card debt. My 401K has accumulated to about $4000. I can only afford to make minimun payments on my credit cards so i am not getting anywhere with eliminating the debt. Should i take a $3000 loan from my 401k to pay off my credit cards? I am only 23, so i dont have much saved, and i have decades left to save for retirment.

admin answers:

NO! The future value of that money will be much greater than $4,000 if you leave it be.

Plus, if you don’t change your spending habits, you’ll end up owing on the 401(k) loan AND the same amount of credit card debt.

Change your spending habits so that you can pay off the credit cards. You have to make a lifetime change or you will find yourself back in this situation, only worse, in the future.

And, if you lose your job, you will have to pay the loan back immediately or risk a 10% penalty plus regular income tax.

Maria asks…

How can I improve my credit if I recently just eliminated my old debts and collection accounts?

I was the typical college kid with credit card debt. I fell behind, and eventually it all went to collections, which wrecked my perfect credit. I recently inherited money, and paid off my collection debt, leaving my car loan and Student Loan, but I want to buy a house this time next year, and perhaps buy a newer car at a better APR. I make a good salary for 25 yr old. What can I do to raise my credit score now to prepare myself? Should I get another credit card, and if so what is a good credit card to open? I feel like I have a scarlet letter on my chest!!

admin answers:

I did the same thing to myself and I have been working on fixing my credit score over the last 8 months. I have seen my credit score jump incredibly following these steps. First, continue paying any accounts you have in good standing on time, all the time. Contact any paid collections you have and request that they remove the mark from your credit files. They most likely will not do it, but you have to try anyways. Then, dispute the collections accounts with the credit bureaus directly. Through experience, I have seen collection agencies simply not respond to the bureau within the required 30 days to verify the account (especially if it is paid in full) and the mark must be removed from your report. It may take a few times, but keep at it. If you do not currently have any open credit card (Visa, MasterCard), get one. Having an open credit card is a huge factor in improving your credit rating, just make sure you pay on time, never go over your credit limit, and if you must carry a balance keep it under 30% of your credit limit. I recommend Capital One for someone trying to improve their credit. Finally, if you are thinking of buying a house in the next year, the last thing you want to do is buy a car right now. Like my man E40 once said, “Don’t buy a $85000 car before you buy a house.” Lenders want to see that your debt to income ratio is low. You need to raise your score, secure a loan and close on your new house, then you can celebrate your success with your new car. The scarlet letter is not permanent, just be persistant and patient. 12 months is plenty of time to clean up your act, I’ve done it in 8!

Chris asks…

Please send me your thoughts on going into a credit negotiation program.?

What about those over exposed credit companies that promise you to eliminate your credit card debt by entering thier credit negotiation program? Seems to me that you put your life and credit history in their hands with no garantee. Anyone has participated? I have “mid sized”credit card debt BUT no bad credit. Pay ontime. Only Problem: monthly payments are killing me. What is the truth on dealing directly with credit card companies?? Please, can anybody share ideas and experience? Tks

admin answers:

The IRS recently took a giant crap on most of these companies. They are required to be not-for-profit companies, and the IRS found that almost all the ones they reviewed were not behaving like a non-profit should be.

Keep in mind, these guys are typically going to get paid a monthly fee by you, and also get a cut or fee from the credit card companies. So, they have pressure from the wrong side.

I’d call a local credit union and see if they’ll give you an installment loan that you can use to pay them off instead. Problem is, if the monthly payments are already killing you, you’re in trouble, since those monthly payments on cards are often just 1-3% of your balance, and barely even pay anything down on the debt. If you actually want to pay off the debt, you have to pay more.

The negotiating companies can sometimes get your interest rates lowered or even frozen in extreme cases.

And while they will tell you that lenders love seeing people take steps to get back on track, the only lenders that will love you are the ones you currently owe. In the mortgage world, going into a credit counseling program is seen as identical to a Chapter 13 bankruptcy. Both are similar, in that a 3-5 year plan is made to repay your debts, some debts and interest could be forgiven, and you pay someone else who then divvies out your payments. Only difference is you didn’t get a lawyer or go to court.

Be cautious with any of these companies. Some are legit, but most aren’t very good.

PS, I have seen many cases where people’s credit reports end up getting trashed, because some banks won’t be getting their minimum payments, and their systems will start flagging you as late, even though you are paying them as agreed. Ouch.

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Creditors Rights

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Carol asks…

what are minors rights in the proceeds of probate concerning creditors?

A minor child in Las vegas n nevada has had both parents pass away and probate laywer is keeping moneys in escrow and delaying disbursement.

All proceeds are ready to fund and lawyer wants to keep creditors notification longer than necessary. Is there a statute in regards to the right of a 16 year old when creditors are trying to recieve any remaing proceeds from the house sale???
This case was considered a hardship case because minor has no other sourse of income untill 18 years old and this is all the father left for the minor. Isn’t there a STATUTE for the benefit of the issue??

admin answers:

It is the job of the executor to ensure that ALL creditors are paid from the proceeds. If he knows of any such creditors, he MUST act to ensure that they receive what they are due.

The age of the heir is not relevant to that duty.

Lizzie asks…

When someone files a civil complaint against you for unpaid debt, what do you do to get the exempt rights?

Is there somehting called exempt rights, where you have a certain amount of personal items that you can keep when creditors take your belongings for payment? It has been 4 years of nonpayment. I wondered if there was a statute of limitations regarding this matter.
If you own your vehicle (no payments) can they take that to get the money for the debt you owe?

admin answers:

Most household goods and unsecured personal posessions are exempt from sale to satisfy a judegment in most states. Property securing a note won’t be exempt anywhere.

Jenny asks…

If I default my debts and leave the country, what can my creditors do??

First of all, I am a US citizen. I am going into a financial hardship, so I am not able to repay some credit cards/loans that I owed. I have some questions: 1) If I left the country without paying these debts, can my creditors locate my foreign address and send me subpoena? 2) I don’t own any properties or cars, but I do have IRA account and Life Insurance in the US, will creditors be able to garnish them without my concent? 3) Does my creditors have rights to garnish my husband’s account?? We don’t have any joint accounts, but we do file joint tax returns. 4) If I need to renew my passport (I can apply oversea of course), will I have any potential problem?? Please explain them in detail. Thank you for all your input in advance.
Please note that I am not trying to escape from these debts. I am just trying to find out in worst case senario, if I have to leave the country, is there any negative impact to my husband?? I also need to make sure I can renew my passport in order I can come back to the US and repay my debt!!! I will repay my debts once my financial situation gets better!! Thanks

admin answers:

Do not run from financial obligations..Eventually it will catch up with you!
Talk to an attorney and ask for advice. Most Attorneys do not charge for a first time consultation with you!
Personally, In my opinion…..I think to run up debts in the USA and then depart to another country may drum up some criminal charges. You really need to talk to an attorney ……If I am correct …….because you are married it makes both husband and wife responsible for debts. I am not an attorney, therefore my opinion means nothing. The best advice I can give to you is to TALK TO AN ATTORNEY IMMEDIATELY AND BEFORE YOU LEAVE THE USA.
You need to nip this problem in the bud now! Do not take action from anyones advice UNLESS you have heard it straight from an attorneys mouth!

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Thomas asks…

Am I right in thinking in the UK creditors will not automatically find out you have inherited property?

You’re paying your creditors £1 per month
You’re not a homeowner
They don’t even know your current address as you’re redirecting your mail
Inheritances aren’t mentioned in newspapers
…so if you inherit propert and assetts one day they won’t find out, right?
please only answers to the question

admin answers:

The land registry would record the transaction.

It costs as little as £12 to find someone using a tracing agency. They will keep passing your details to different debt collection agencies and eventually one will trace you.

Because you have made payments on the debt you have admitted the debt and they can take a county court judgement against you. They could also consider bankruptcy depending on whether you owe enough and own enough to make it worth their while.

Ken asks…

Do loan underwriters have the right to contact your creditors directly ?

Or, are they required to rely on credit reporting such as Transunion, Equifax, or Experian score reporting? I would also like to know if an underwriter contacts your creditor directly must s/he notify you verbally or in writing? Thanks!

admin answers:

Yes, it is done whenever the credit report doesn’t give complete information or there are gaps in the reporting.

They will also call them to clear up any discrepancies.

They don’t have to notify you in advance, because you most likely signed a “Borrowers Authorization” form when you applied for the loan, and this is part of the loan application.

95% of the time, the credit report tells them what they need to know.

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Credit Card Debt Consolidation

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Mark asks…

When you consolidate student loans, can you add credit card debt into the consolidation?

I will be graduating soon with about 20k in student loans. I also have about 10k in credit card debt. Is there any way to lump it all together?

admin answers:

You cannot merge credit card debt with the student loan consolidation they both are different entities. For more on student loan consolidation, log into: http://www.studentloaninfo.org/

Helen asks…

what is the best credit card debt consolidation company?

admin answers:

NFCC.org
Is a government approved non-profit agency there to help you.
No cost to you.

But.. All they do is what is clearly stated in books you can find at your library or bookstore.
How to negotiate, settle, pay on delete, reduce rates, and set up payments.
All the tricks and tips are in the books.
Look in your bookstore for a book called
Credit and debt Repair.
It will make you a pro without wasting thousands of dollars on a consolidation or negotiation company.
Run and run away fast if the company has negotiation or settlement in the words.
They will rob you blind while leaving your bills unpaid and most people end up in court anyway.

Eliminate debt Fast Without bankruptcy Or debt Consolidation

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John asks…

What are the drawbacks of using a debt consolidation company to settle your credit card debt?

admin answers:

What differentiates legit and ethical debt relief agencies is their fee structure. Personal Credit Solution does not a charge their clients even a penny up-front nor any monthly fees. Their fee is solely based on what they save their clients once a settlement from their creditors has been reached.

They also offer other alternatives to bankruptcy so that clients are given unbiased information about their options. Personal Credit Solution also explains the pros and cons to each debt relief program available to their clients, so that they may weight their options informatively.

Keep in mind, if any of their clients accounts get transferred to a law firm they make sure to assist the client at no extra charge until an offer is made on the account and paid off. This happens to less than 1% of their enrolled accounts.

The best way to be safe when joining any settlement company, is to not agree to any up-front fees most settlement companies charge. Make sure the agency provides the service they promise first and only then should they charge their fee. It is also wise to look into a settlement company that only charges their fee based on what they save you once an offer has been agreed with your creditors. Personal Credit Solution will also make sure you are fit for the settlement program upon reviewing your budge, since your accounts must be fully settled for them to receive a penny.This will ensure you receive full assurance that your accounts are being taken care of, another reason why Personal Credit Solution offers a full satisfaction guarantee to each and every client of theirs.

David asks…

I am $50K in credit card debt, what are my options in terms of debt consolidation?

I own my home, but do not have enough equity built to refinance and get $50K to pay off credit card debt-what are my options? Someone told me a second mortgage may work, but I have only owned my home for 14 months. Balance on my current mortgage is $77K, home value is max $90K.

admin answers:

You can’t borrow your way out of debt. Try and locate a lower interest credit card and transfer your balance. Some accounts have 0 transfer fees and maybe 0 interest or low introductory interest for the first few months. If you have that little grace period you need to pay as much as you possibly can right away and lower that principal amount. Scrimp and save, cut coupons, brown bag your lunch, get a roommate, whatever it takes to start paying down that debt. That is a huge amount of money if you are paying 18%–your interest alone is probably a couple of hundred every money and if you are only paying the minimum you aren’t making a dent in the actual debt.

You have my sympathies. I was in debt for a long time and it took a long time to get that debt monkey off my back. Now that it is, I drive a 14 year old car and think carefully about anything I will owe on for more than a few months. It is enormously freeing not to be in debt. You have so many options and you sleep better. Good luck!

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Linda asks…

My mother has a lot of credit card debt and asked me to research debt consolidation.?

She has over $25,000 of debt and has trouble making the minimum payments. We do not own a home and pay rent and auto loan monthly as well as the usual expenses. I looked at debt consolidation loans, and debt counseling sites and there is so much conflicting information. Anyone who has gone through the same or works in the field any advice?

admin answers:

We are in the same situation. Married and new kid with lots of bills from remodel, hospital, taxes etc. We are close to 30,000. I called all my credit card company and got the interest rate lowered or transfered to a fixed rate. I set up auto pay so don’t miss any payments and cut up those cards. I got 3 cards one fixed at 3.9, 4.9, and 6.9. We are paying as much as we can on the 6.9 and then 4.9. We have a set amount so we make min payments on the first two till we pay the others off. Set up a budget and stick to it. If you call them ask about getting a fixed locked in low rate. If they don’t budge call again or ask for manager.

Tell them your in financial bind and they will work with you and set up a lower monthly payment. Also check the interest rates she has and what penalty she is paying. Few phone calls and you can lock in your rate. Then DON’T USE THOSE CARDS.

It is slow and painful but you will see the progress.

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Debt Stress Depression

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Steven asks…

Why does my Dad put so much into a huge, empty house full of stress and frustration?

My dad thinks our familys happiness depends on us having a HUGE house in a rich neighborhood. Those things would be nice if he wasnt wokring all the time. We have the huge house, but it isnt making us happy. He works ALL THE TIME! he just sits at his desk 14 hours+ a day.. he wakes up at 4 in the morning and sometimes is working to the early hours of the morning.. no joke. I have this play to go too, its a feild trip for my school, but i now have no ride since my mother is no longer available to drive me. Anyways, today i think he felt bad that i couldnt go, and was asking about it and trying to see if i could get a ride from someone else. I snapped because he wouldnt stop asking me about it and i know i dont have a ride, it was just making it worse. He looked down with extremely sad eyes and said “i’m not much of a father am i.” and walked out of the room. It made my heart hurt…

He built this house with his bare hands and the help of one other hired person.. it took him 3 years to do it, idk why he thouhgt he HAD to do it, we are still in so much debt from it. Anyways, now that we might have give our house to the bank because my dads hard work isnt even enough to cover the bank payments for this house, hes falling into a deep depression knowing that these last 5 years of stress and work have gone to nothing and were all in vain. We have no happiness.

Anyways, what should i say too him? Ive already said he was a good father and worked hard for us, but i dont think that covers the amount of stress he is under. What would you do?
Uhmmmm, thats not my question. I dont give two s*its about my god damn play, and thats what i told him. You obviously didnt think before you read the question. I was saying “DAD! stop worrying about my play! leave me alone about it.” i wanted him to drop it because he was just feeling bad about it.
Flanny, what the hell are you talking about? Of course i appriciate what he does and i see the strain it has on his life. Ive already asked that he quit his job and give this house back to the bank so we can live in a place we can actually afford and be happy in, and he just feels like he has to keep working his knuckles to the bone until the bank KICKS us out. We are 700,000 dollers in debt, and i dont see how working his life away will fix that. We simply cannot afford this house and we BOTH know his work is a wasted effort. Im just asking, how to make him understand that i DONT care about this house, it isnt letting him live the life he wants. That is my simple question.

Sorry i dont just egg him on to work this dead end job that exploits his time. Sorry i think about his happiness.

admin answers:

Do you have any dreams for your future? Imagine if you worked really hard for many years to make your dream a reality. Then forces totally out of you control threaten to rip things away. He is overwhelmed and probably second-guessing himself so much.

He had a dream, to own a home to be proud of and have a family to share it with. He probably underestimated how much work it would take, how much time away from you.

I know my husband really regrets how much time he has been spending working late at a job he’ll probably be laid-off from in a few months. He missed so much from our son’s early years. He felt compelled to try to get ahead. Our culture puts a heavy emphasis on material acheivement for men to have a strong sense of self-worth.

Imagine, feeling like you aren’t worth much! He feels so low now. Like he’s wasted years of his life. Just be there for him, hug him, you don’t need to talk much. A simple, “I will always love you, Daddy” will mean more than you will know.

Ken asks…

Teen Depression/Suicide?

Lately I have been thinking a lot about suicide. My doctor has been studying my depression but he says my medication should work just fine and I should be fine. Things have gotten worse for me over the past month… My grandfather is in the hospital and slowly passing away, my parents are in deep debt and on the erg of divorce, My best friend that I told everything to moved half way across the country, Stress from school, My insomnia, My weight gaining from stress then dropping dramatically, People talking behind my back, My past creeping up on me, and just anxieties. I have no idea of what to even do anymore, THERAPY DOESN’T WORK WITH ME!

My mom and me aren’t close anymore so I can’t even really talk with her… No adults or teachers I am close to or can tell everything. I really have no one to vent to besides my very close boyfriend…

What are suggestions? Thanks for your input.

admin answers:

Stay with your Dr… Tell him the truth,it takes time,Your medicines may need to be adjusted for more mil.or he may want to change you over to something else. ALSO try talking to a person at school, try talking to your mother, you know she may feel the same as you,forget that she is your mother,try talking to her as a friend. Sometimes you just have to reach out for someone else, you have to make the 1st move.You have to give love to get love. Hang in there, depression does not blow away in a few months. It took more that a few months to get in this state of mind. Hope you feel better soon.

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Susan asks

Do I have depression?

I think I might have some kind of depression, and I don’t really know what to do.

I have alot of stress in my life at the moment. My husband’s ex wife gives me continual grief. We are in an enormous amount of financial debt, because of her.
When his daughter comes to visit, 2 days before I get horrible headaches and feel sick. I feel anxious all the time.
My husband had an affair, a few years ago, and I feel like I live my life in constant fear, of it happening again, even though, we dealt with it and I have no reason to think that it would happen again.

I feel so down, all the time, I have no self esteem, or self worth.

All I want to do is go to bed, It takes me all my strength to just go to work each day. Other than work I don’t want to go anywhere, I don’t want to leave the house.

Im going to the doctor this week, but I feel afraid, embarrassed, and ashamed, that I feel so out of control of my life.

Does anyone have any advice?

admin answers:

I think you might be suffering from depression.

There is nothing wrong with that, considering everything you are going through.

It is important to be honest with your doctor and tell them everything you said here.

Doctors are used to helping people. You don’t have to be ashamed or embarrassed.

When you reach out for help, it is the first step towards getting well.

Debt Stress = Death and Fast Aging, Take a breath
Studies prove stress and debt cause health problems… Yet another depop.. plan? Cause mass depression and inflation which in turns ups the number of people dying from strokes and heart attacks… If you ask me its just as bad as putting Chemicals in our food and water that eat away at us like fluoride and aspartame in our water and food, MSG in most all fast food aluminum and barium in the chemtrials mircowaves, ect..All this adds up. Thats not even including the things we do to ourselfs like smoking and drinking, Its TO much for the body to take, Thats why as many of us get older we get dumber, lose our memory. Our body weakens and we become helpless. Back long ago..Our Elders were smart and wise, all knowing, we looked up to them as a people.. Now they are crazy and mindless and we put them in shelters? What happened? The American Government happened….

John asks…

Financial advice for sister with Depression?

My sister is diagnosed with depression. She is presently in the hospital for this. She had just started a job and it was stressful for her. She spiraled downward and became suicidal. She has had depression for many years now (she’s 46 yo). She owns a condo and now that she doesn’t have a job, she has no way to make her mortgage payments and living expenses. Her credit card debt is about $20,000 because she has had to use credit before she got this job. She is a very prideful person and even though she has a problem handling stress, she also would not want to accept a job in a grocery store. She has had some temp service jobs. Anyhow, I am afraid that she is feeling so low about herself, and if she is having financial problems on top of that, she won’t be with us much longer. She would never file for bankruptcy because of her pride. What kind of aid could she apply for and what would she need to do to get some kind of government aide, if any?

admin answers:

She needs two things: SSI and SSDI. She can apply for both with the help of a Rep Payee or some other form of representation. She probably has paid enough into the Social Security system to get enough to get by… And if she throws the pride issue at you, tell her you care about her LIFE.

The credit card debt Survival Guide

How to deal with collection firms and collection attorneys. The best legal tactics attributed to debt forums, legal cases, and many users. 240 pp. linked in Toc for easy use and reference.

Laura asks…

How do I help myself with depression?

I recently starting having depression problems; I have to farce myself to eat, I can hardly stand to be around sharp objects because of how badly I want to hurt myself. So my parents are at court against each other and after years of being afraid of seeing my father again the courts finally decided that I never have to see him again. I should be happy, but court expenses have us in debt and I am more worried about my situation than I was before. I am going to be starting High School next year, and I am really scared. My friends in school are starting to experiment with their life’s and are doing stupid things like smoking and drinking, so I decided I didn’t want to hang around them anymore. Now I am pretty much alone and I have nobody I can talk to about how I feel. My family is under too much stress and I don’t trust any of my former friends. Everybody in my house is yelling at each other and everybody is at each others throats. My room had to be taken over so that my big sister can move back in because she cant afford an apartment anymore and I have nowhere I can go to just cry. I feel so trapped! Every time I look in a mirror I almost want to cry because I just cant appreciate myself at all, and I’m too scared to go outside or someplace public. Even when I did hang out with m,y friends, they had never really listened to any of my personal problems and they always say that they hate each other. They mean it as a joke, but it really hurts. I try to write and draw how I feel but I cant think of anything to put on the paper. I used to really be into writing my own music and piano playing, but I cant find the motivation to do anything but pace in our kitchen. I know I wouldn’t be strong enough to do it, but I cant stop thinking about suicide. My grades are dropping drastically, even though we only have one more week of school, and I’m not sure I can make it through these last few days. Any advice on how I can help myself, or any information about depression would be helpful.
I personally do not smoke! I stopped hanging around my friends because I don’t want to get into that kind of stuff. One of my friends especially, Sydnie was my best friend. I was the one she called when she cried, but now I feel invisible around her, just because I don’t want to participate in throwing my life away.

admin answers:

Wow!

You are not in a good place.
Run!
Joking, I wish that would help.
Actually in a certain sense it would.

I know you are scared to go outside or some place public, but it is really what you need.

And something that you specifically say you don’t have, a friend you can trust. And the way, you know how I mean. None of those “jokes”.

Hmmm

I am going to give you an assignment. Create a list for what the perfect friend would be like. The one you know you need. Also make a check list for the perfect place for you to be by yourself. Hold nothing back, even it seems like it can never happen. I want you to imagine you are the little kids in the Merry Poppin’s movie. And even if the dad criticizes the list, the kids know what they need. And just like the Merry Poppin’s movie after you make it. I want you to tear it up and burn it, or flush it, or some how get rid of it. Send it out into the universe. And then wait expectantly for the universe to send its reply.

Let me give you some more info about depression. I went through it and there were three parts of the yama, niyama of yoga that helped me the most. Http://www.bradpriddy.com/yoga/yamani.htm
They are ahimsa, santosa, and Isvara pranidhana.

Part of ahimsa is the moral principle of not harming oneself.
With like moral authority santosa says we should be grateful for what we have.
Lastly Isvara pranidhana, tells us once we tried all we could we should surrend to the will of God.
Place at the feet of God. Knowing that we can’t know what the future has in store for us
but trust that it is wisely governed.

For me having these as moral principles restructed my thoughts.

What you will need is faith in your ability to overcome; hope for the future despite not knowing what it is; and thanks for the things in your life that are good true and beautiful.

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